What's On Your Mind...Not Mine.

"Stop saying what's on your mind and start asking 'What's on your mind?'"

I was cleaning off my desk early this morning, sort of an end of week ritual to clear my mind for a day of coaching connects, and I stumbled across a scrap of paper with the above quote on it.

I don't remember who said. I don't know if I was reading a book, listening to a podcast, or had just spoken with someone. I can't rightly attribute it to anyone.

But it's a fantastic reminder to shut up and listen, isn't it?

To stop projectile-emoting onto everyone around us, and on the socials...and start humbly-inviting others to speak with us, and where appropriate, into us.

How about you?

Are you so busy speaking your mind that you've forgotten what it means to share life with others, not simply speak and spit your thoughts and feelings at them?

So, who are you going to ask, "What's on your mind?" today? Spouse? Clerk? Teammate? Neighbor? It's a paradigm shift. It changes things.

Don't Let's Start

If you're feeling particularly down and out, you might believe it. You might accept the bottom-of-the-barrel line in the middle of this They Might Be Giants song,

"No one in the world ever gets what they want,

And that is beautiful,

Everybody dies frustrated and sad,

And that is beautiful."

On the hand, while things might not turn out how we dream or imagine, we don't have to die frustrated and sad. More to the point, our creative pursuits don't have to die off in bitterness and despair.

How?

Well, shake off the disappointment then ask yourself:

Q. What should I learn from that experience?

Q. What part of the project or process should I repeat? What worked?

Q. What part of the process or project didn't go so well? Why? Honestly. Why?

Q. What can I do differently next time?

Q. Who should I contact for more knowledge, networking, and nit-picking?

Q. How might I change my work habits? My investments?

Q. When should I dive back in? What do I need to do first to set myself up for success?

Don't, don't, don't let's start. Evaluate. This is the best part!

Name It & Claim It Victim-Centrality

It's time to rewrite the script for the next chapter.

Most of us in the West have been trained since the early 20th century to live a victim-centric narrative. To believe someone else has the locus of control on our daily lives...which then convinces us that we're victims. Seeing victim-hood around every corner.

Victims of other's:

...decisions

...privilege

...opportunities

...businesses

...finances

...education

...heritage

...skin

...hobbies

...religion

...political persuasion

...gender

...age

...generation

...time period

...hair color

Name it and someone is a victim of it...real or imagined or simply irrelevant.

So what narrative are you living out? What victim-mindset, no matter how real, are you letting define you for the next season of life?

Q. What one thing can you do today, regardless of others 'out there,' in order to begin to rewrite your story?