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R.J's Posts

  • Writer's pictureR.J Dyson

Lampoon: Lexicon

Happy Lampooned Lexicon Thursday! Ever pause on a walk in the local cemetery, stare across the headstones and imagine all those regrettable scenes from your own life? Yeah, I recommend doing that once every decade or so, it's sobering. If you're in there every week? Well, let's talk. Here's a peek into another chapter of my oncoming book: A Lexicon of Awesome.


/ L /

Lampooning is an interesting practice, isn’t it? I doubt dogs do this. Or dolphins. Dolphins are too smart to waste time spearing one another. Grinding up their emotions like tuna fish.

Yet, for me, it seems to come naturally. Why do we do this to ourselves? I haven’t met anyone deliberately chasing after a National Lampoon’s Clark Griswold lifestyle. The embodiment of a bumbling suburban dad. A wildly funny satire, but not one to emulate, right? Is it possible that we lampoon our lives blindly? Or out of sheer laziness? I wonder if these are versions of the same thing: a misdirected life with no vision of what could be and no mission to tread. A life that torches Christmas trees, destroys cars and flirts with affairs. Dolphins don’t do that.

I think about the lampoon often. Some days I can actually feel it like a spear in my lower back. Isn’t it awkward walking around with a spear in your back? There it is, agitating Brooke and annoying the kids and knocking that framed watercolor painting by great grandma off the wall and down the stairs.

Am I living lampooned? Maybe, but it’s hard to think straight with this sharp pain in my back...


Keep an eye out for A Lexicon of Awesome: a melancholics search for a better world of words in the fall of 2020.

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